CHANNEL) SEVEN WAYS TO F--K UP YOUR OLYMPIC BASKETBALL BROASTCAST.
Appropriating David Letterman’s style is never easy but we thought we’d celebrate the pathetic broadcast of the Beijing Olympic with a count down dedicated to Channel Seven…
THE TOP SEVEN SIGNS THAT YOU KNOW CHANNEL SEVEN IS BROADCASTING THE OLYMPIC BASKETBALL….
07.
Channel Seven skillfully avoids the use of actual sports commentators, making their hoops coverage more painful than hearing Mark Bradtke dropping sideline comments during NBL games on Fox Sports.
06.
The live broadcast is continually interrupted by endless replays of old medal coverage while they take unnecessary commercial breaks during live action but keep the cameras rolling when there is a timeout on the floor.
05.
One quarter of the Men’s basketball between Australia vs. Croatia is shown between “so-called†swimming highlights, while the entire Iran vs. Russia game is broadcast uninterrupted throughout Australia.
04. During the Gold Medal match, they accidently disconnect and then misplace their live feed but offer all eager viewers a highly comforting consolation prize: the six o'clock news with extended highlights of the diving.
03.
Standing out as the Opals biggest threat, the US Women’s basketball team are completely ignored by Seven despite remaining undefeated in their preliminary round play. In their quick witted, best George Bush attempts to prove that “if you don’t see it, it doesn’t exist†Seven helps the Opals secure their first Gold by pretending the other good women’s teams aren’t in Beijing this year.
02.
The same Channel that refused to interview CJ Bruton and the members of the gold medal winning Commonwealth Games Boomers, despite promises made, are now all over the Boomers (and basketball) like they’re fans from way back.
01.
Kochie and Mel commentate the Boomers v USA game.
(Special thanks to William Hardie, Will Cowie, Benjamin Funnell and Ben Carthy for their input. Game recognize game, Channel Seven recognise the foot). Want to complain about Seven’s broadcast? If you live in Sydney, make sure to stand outside of the Channel Seven Sunrise window in Martin Place when Mel and Kosch return from China and make sure to hold up your sign that states “Your Olympic coverage can kiss my a--â€.)
yeeeeeew the bogey man.